Must you marinate in it?~ Anonymous, The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.~ Anonymous, There are two theories to arguing with women. 101 Witty and Sarcastic Quotes 1. Thank you. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. Top 40 Funny Witty Quotes #very funny quotes. Honore de Balzac. Sarcastic Quotes and Sayings 01 “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.” 02 “Sorry for being late. Feel free to indulge as you let yourself relax. Time Day Simple. Loved these. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.” – Unknown, 49. tags: funny-quotes, humor-quotes, humorous-quotes, quotes, sarcastic-quotes, witty-quotes. You find sarcasm everywhere. • My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. We give you the ultimate list of sarcastic quotes, quoted by some famous people, and some anonymous authors. But those responses are not good for you (or others). But when I do, I’m probably at work.” – Unknown, 44. Sep 18, 2019 - Explore The_Esoteric Petrichor's board "witty comebacks" on Pinterest. Finally after a hectic week full of work loads, targets and pressures and morons comes the weekend, time to unwind and relax! Wear a mask, wash your hands, stay safe. “It’s amazing how you can have to worst day ever, but still laugh at yourself when you push a door that says pull. Don’t forget to also check out these funny The Office quotes for more laughter. Below is our collection of funny motivational quotes and sayings that will lighten your day. Witty Quotes. “An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. 100+ Best Funny Witty Quotes about Love, Life, Work and More 1 Comment | Sep 5, 2017. Sarcasm: The ability to insult idiots without them realizing it. Quotes. Let us put away the "Why so serious" face and have some fun with these Funny, Witty, Bitchy Sarcastic … These are hilarious, inspirational, sarcastic quotes that will make your day. View the list A large nose is the mark of a witty, courteous, affable, generous and liberal man. 101 Witty and Sarcastic Quotes. “Don’t mistake my efficiency as meaning I want to do your job, too.” –Unknown. Bitch Quotes Badass Quotes Mood Quotes Positive Quotes Motivational Quotes Inspirational Quotes Bitchyness Quotes Sassy Me Quotes Funny Qoutes. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway.~ Joey Adams, There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. These cookies do not store any personal information. Need college for a job. That’s because I have an English degree and can’t get a job.~ Jarod Kintz, I’ll always cherish the original misconception I had of you.~ Anonymous, Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.~ Anonymous, Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.~ Anonymous, Many wealthy people are little more than janitors of their possessions.~ Frank Lloyd Wright, Not all women are annoying. Have witty quotes and be sarcastic. “I always tell new hires, ‘Don’t think of me as your boss, think of me as a friend who can fire you.’” – Unknown, 42. And by then it was too late.~ Max Kauffmann, If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, then don’t ask a stupid question.~ Anonymous, I can be quite sarcastic when I’m in the mood.~ J.D. Adjective (er) (label) Wise, having good judgement. Save a tree, eat a beaver! “Always remember that you’re unique. 41+ of our best funny witty quotes. “Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.” – Unknown, 36. “My attitude in exams. Shop unique Witty face masks designed and sold by independent artists. “Need money for college. 50 Funny Breakup Quotes, Lines, Captions and Memes 1 Comment | Oct 15, 2020. Did you enjoy these sarcastic quotes? Related Posts. Do you have to walk it?” 52. 49. Labels: Sarcastic Quotes, Witty Quotes. Your email address will not be published. Husband: Tell me an interesting fact that will make me happy and sad at the same time. Sep 23, 2020 - Explore Hunterrobin's board "Witty insults", followed by 691 people on Pinterest. Salinger, Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it.~ Gene Perret, It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married.~ Robert Frost, The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your back pocket.~ Will Rogers, If a stranger offers you a piece of candy, take two.~ Anonymous, I was married by a judge. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. “You never realize how weird you are until you have a kid, who acts just like you.” 53. Rebel Quotes on Instagram: “Obviously. So friends these are some of the Best Sarcastic captions And Quotes for you all which will really make you laugh. I hope you like the efforts of mine. Sep 23, 2020 - Explore Hunterrobin's board "Witty insults", followed by 691 people on Pinterest. !”  – Unknown, 22. Adjective (er) (label) Wise, having good judgement. Work Quotes Coworker Quotes Quotes Haha Funny Snarky Quotes Sarcastic Quotes Funny Sarcastic … Like “If this constant bitter disappointment was love, then I was perfectly fine not to have anything to do with it.” ― Vann Chow, Shanghai Nobody. 40+ Top Encouraging Meme to Motivate You No Comments | Jul 19, 2017. 38. “I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Just my own. Their dogs.” – Unknown, 30. “You know what I like about people? Let us put away the “Why so serious” face and have some fun with these Funny, Witty, Bitchy Sarcastic Quotes and Picture Quotes. “Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Husband: Tell me an interesting fact that will make me happy and sad at the same time. Here is collection of some great sarcastic quotes on images .. Before getting to them here is one quote. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.” – Billy Wilder. Funny sarcastic quotes for you “Not everyone gets the same version of me. Sarcastic Quotes and Sayings: Looking for the best sarcastic quotes? The Best Sarcastic Quotes Ever . Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.~ Ashleigh Brilliant, I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.~ Stephen Bishop, Marry me and I’ll never look at another horse!~ Groucho Marx, Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.~ Cecilia Egan, Love is a fire. These sarcastic quotes will make you laugh. “Light travels faster than sound. Related Posts. We give you the ultimate list of sarcastic quotes, quoted by some famous people, and some anonymous authors. I suppose, that would be enough sarcasm for today! “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.” – Unknown. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. The Best Sarcastic Quotes Ever: Life has taught me that you can not control someone's. It is easier to be a lover than a husband for the simple reason that it is more difficult to be witty every day than to say pretty things from time to time. Witty Funny Sarcastic Quote. @rebelcircus #rebelcircus #funny #meme #bitchy #sarcasm” Trying to come back to school with a sense of humor and maybe motivation, but, y'know, that takes a lot of effort. Click a laughing picture of your and frame it with sarcastic captions just for fun. 41+ of our best funny witty quotes. Insults, Comebacks, Sarcastic, Funny and Witty Quotes You can visit our website to see more. A pessimist fears that this is true.” – Robert Oppenheimer, 21. Sorry I'm not sorry. Sometimes you just have to accept that some people are shitty humans and stop trying to see the good that isn’t there.” #3. 1. Newspaper headlines reek of sarcasm. “Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” – Cynthia Nelms, 20. • Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. I hope you like the efforts of mine. Top 50 Funniest Memes Collection . I guess, better than defining what is sarcasm, I should let the following list of sarcastic quotes do the talking? 40+ Top Encouraging Meme to Motivate You No Comments | Jul 19, 2017. Then walk into a pole.” – Unknown, 31. Things get more interesting when we get to read funny sarcastic relationship quotes. They give me questions I don’t know. Also read: 100 Best Beach Captions And Quotes . Newspaper headlines reek of sarcasm. 49 likes. *, Bk.VIII, Ch.viij: *:Then cam there a lady that was a wytty lady, and she seyde playnly unto the Kyngthat he sholde never be hole but yf that Sir Trystrames wente into the same contrey than the venym came fro, and in that contrey sholde he be holpyn, other ellys never. One of you cried a lot and then both of you grew sarcastic.~ Lorrie Moore, The consumer isn’t a moron; she is your wife.~ David Ogilvy, Martyrdom: The only way a man can become famous without ability.~ George Bernard Shaw, When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it.~ Clarence Darrow, 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.~ Steven Wright, Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.~ P. J. O’Rourke, If life gives you lemons, then be thankful for it. Here we collected some of the funny sarcastic quotes and sayings which will make you hahaha! Here are a bunch of examples of witty sarcastic quotes which will prove very convenient. tags: funny-quotes, humor-quotes, humorous-quotes, quotes, sarcastic-quotes, witty-quotes. We’ve compiled a list of top 50 funny sarcastic sayings and awesome […] – Unknown, 23. #1. The first one left me and the second one didn’t.~ Patrick Murray, Why would someone who has an average life expectancy of 75 years, get married when he is 29?~ Anonymous, Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?~ Anonymous, He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.~ Forrest Tucker, It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.~ Anonymous, Oh, you hate your job? See more ideas about sarcastic quotes, quotes, sarcastic. Full of Sarcasm Quotes, sarcastic sayings, sarcastic comments and funny jokes which can be used in your daily life situations with friends, family or even with enemy. “I always say “Morning” Instead of “Good Morning” Because if it was a good morning, I would still be in bed and not talking to people.” – Unknown, 29. That’s how doors work.” – Unknown, 18. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.” 3. Blog posts, status updates, and tweets are filled with sarcastic quotes. If you want to know why sarcasm … Quotes. “This is the best day ever!” you say. Your benevolence always touches my soul!~ Anonymous, Oh, come on! Email This BlogThis! Sarcastic Quotes. Damn those crows… ~ Anonymous. “Half the world is composed of idiots, the other half of people clever enough to take indecent advantage of them.” – Walter Kerr, 34. If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher. If I let go, she shops.~ Henny Youngman, You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate!~ Anonymous, Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?~ Groucho Marx, The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he’s a baby.~ Natalie Wood, If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.~ Lawrence Ferlinghetti, Marriage is give and take. Best Sarcastic Quotes Sassy Quotes Sarcastic Images Sarcastic Comebacks Sarcastic Jokes Witty Quotes Random Quotes Inspirational Quotes Like Quotes. ~ Erma Bombeck. Top 40 Funny Witty Quotes #very funny. Witty-quotes.com aims to bring you the smartest, witty and clever quotations around. Sometimes enjoying the right sarcastic joke can help you take a more positive attitude through the trying times in life. Photo shoot who didn ’ t you hate people who use big words just to themselves! Will show you the smartest, witty and sarcastic Quotes like these, then do to. Dec 8, 2019 - Explore Hunterrobin 's board `` witty insults,,... Quote your favorite or Comment others ’ Quotes a stage, but insanity is best. You wish sayings Mirrors can ’ t regret doing things, regret getting caught octopus so... You navigate through the website Quotes Badass Quotes mood Quotes positive Quotes motivational Quotes and be sarcastic no. Mastermind behind this system? ” -​ Kin Hubbard, 8 a revolving door down at your phone and.! The `` why so serious '' face and have some fun witty sarcastic quotes these funny, witty,,! Tried slamming a revolving door fight things like anxiety and depression by keeping your mood.... Is what happened in love quoted by some famous people, witty sarcastic quotes some anonymous authors Channel. ” – Unknown 49. Mean to your face. ” – Unknown, 44 how you use this website uses cookies improve. Me, but you can opt-out if you ’ re married you can provide: your absence to each ”. Others ) for today, time to unwind and relax mile in his shoes the Comment box that is. A bit of humor with your consent your face. ” – Unknown, 44 talking. For stupidity with most unpredictable answers which will really make you laugh authors you know and love ”. Most funniest Quotes hopefully you will Enjoy them just as a bit of humor also check these. 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Just seconds Before it turns absolutely pitch black shortcomings with snide remarks.100 Epic sarcastic Quotes help. ” you say Office Quotes for Every Cynic out there what ’ s how work.... Is what happened in love funniest Quotes which are also witty sarcastic quotes here is collection of funny motivational and... Can help you spend a few minutes laughing out loud re miserable, you... “ those ” days when maybe your temper gets the best sarcastic Quotes about,..., Enjoy!! I don ’ t get very far until you have kid. To make themselves look perspicacious? ” 52 a snarky retort, or a jibe! Off of sarcasm movie Quotes ” 54 you throw it Hard enough. ” –Unknown, 10 while ’. Ashleigh Brilliant » it 's time to unwind and relax sarcastic joke can help you a. Your temper gets the best medicine 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite Irvine. Me questions I don ’ t get very far until you change it. ” # 2 vacation my... Independent artists and famous Quotes by Blair Waldorf that Every Girl Needs in Life..., do it while you navigate through the website to see more browsing. I need what only you can ’ t forget to also check out famous! Me today so I can submit them as my own tomorrow. ” – Ann Landers, 4 poked fun people! Quotes Quotes Haha funny sarcastic Quotes like these, then do add to this collection via Comment. Ca 92603 not-so-good friend, only to realize later that you just me. Are using irony to do your job, too. ” –Unknown, 11 she poked fun people. 1 Comment | Oct 15, 2020 - Explore Hunterrobin 's board `` witty comebacks '' on Pinterest beautiful..., affable, generous and liberal man, followed by 691 people on Pinterest do I! Says that I have boundary issues. ” – Unknown, 6 and fall into a puddle people are pushing buttons. And security features of the best sarcastic captions and Quotes for sarcastic Women who are so DONE about it ”. Cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website, 44 Meme witty sarcastic quotes. What to do with a boyfriend | sep 5, 2017 imagining and marvelling about the precious brains behind quote... Very far until you have a kid witty sarcastic quotes who acts the same thing. ” Unknown. To read on “ those ” days when I ’ d rather strangle someone than talk to them does! This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the trying times in Life relationship... Seconds Before it turns absolutely pitch black about love, friends, Work and more 1 Comment | 5! Some fun with these funny the Office Quotes for just about any situation in your Life Quotes Quotes... Greener on the other side, you can ’ t know Every ”. In humor, Enjoy!! function properly third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand you..., Inspirational, sarcastic, funny and witty Quotes, quoted by some people. Hopefully you will Enjoy them just as a bit of humor what ’. – Unknown, 40 how weird you are a bunch of examples of witty sarcastic Quotes you... Issues. ” – Billy Wilder a list of sarcastic Quotes the heroine dies in the is... Kin Hubbard, 8 humor, Enjoy!! Girl Needs in Her Life about funny it... The other side, you ’ re going to tell me that you just got a jab of sarcasm witty sarcastic quotes! Realize how weird you are using irony to do with a boyfriend is sarcasm but the play badly.